Misunderstood Invitations, Part 1

The goal I was working towards was awesomely exciting.  God was intricately involved in the original idea, the planning, and preparation.  It seemed that we were creating an adventure together, and I still think it was "His idea."  I was stunned when the bottom suddenly dropped out and the plans I'd been carefully talking with Jesus about for months fell apart.

When this happened, I didn't feel angry or sad.  I felt a lot of disappointment.  I remembered the verse that says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick," and that really describes what I felt.  The fact that God was so involved in the birth and planning of the goal made it much harder to handle than if I had just run out to "do my own thing."

I also had a million questions.  Did I just hear wrong?  Did I miss God?  Was there something else He had in mind that I just missed?  Could I have messed up something God actually wanted? 

I couldn't find easy or satisfying answers to any of my questions.  The only thing I knew was to keep talking with Jesus.

So, I told Him how I felt - about the disappointment and all the unanswered questions. I had a strong sense that Jesus was with me, understood my disappointment and was not upset at me.  He was just as loving, kind and gentle with me as ever. He also didn't answer any of my questions.  I told Him that I was open to Him correcting me if I had just run out ahead on my own. His silent response was deafeningly loud. I didn't know what else to do, so I just kept talking with Him and trying my best to quiet and listen. 

Then, this morning I read, "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit." Suddenly, I realized what Jesus was trying to tell me.  He simply wanted me to let the dreams and plans we made together fall into the ground and die. This wasn't about "missing Him" or plans that were wrong.  It was just about letting the plans go - and turning them fully over to His care.

I understood immediately that if the dreams we shared together were God's plans, then they would bear more fruit than I dreamed possible.  He was actually extending an invitation to me to grow more fruit together.  This was not even so much about death of a vision as it was about giving the vision a chance to bear the kind of fruit that God produces when good seed falls into the ground and dies.

I wonder how much disappointment is related to misunderstood invitations to increased blessing? 

What kind of ripples are your plans making - in you and around you - today?